My name is Christelle Larco. I am 26 and I am a graphic designer.
In may of 2012, I completed my masters at the University of Baltimore in the Publications Design Program. I was very excited about this new beginning although it was scary and I had no idea of how much things I was about to face. At the time, I was optimistic, I wanted to face the world, to show them what I was capable of and I was sure the I was going to leave my office assistant intern job right away. I had big dreams. Little did I know, the world had changed around me and I started to feel more and more depressed everyday. I went to work everyday, dreading the day ahead of me. I was learning all kinds of things from filling to accounting, skills that I know where not getting me any closer to my goals, skills like how to separate all the paperwork that came in and out, or how to be an HR assistant, or doing some data entry in quickbooks, filing payrolls and much more. A design opportunity happened and I was sure that I was going to get it. But my supervisor did not think I was "qualified" for the job. They hired someone I had to assist with the design project. Everytime we talked I had the feeling he did not think highly of my skills. I kept telling myself that I was going to find a job soon, that I was going to leave the family business. And day after day after day, I hoped, I wished, I waited for a new opportunity, for a new beginning that was not happening. My optimism started to fade and depression was taking place.
Towards the end of October, I had enough I wanted a new beginning with more laughs and more design. All my tasks at work were dull and how I felt inside started showing up in my work. I was sad and I knew that crying on my way to work every morning would affect my attitude, my results and everything else. Other big problem with this job of mine was that I was working at my uncle's firm with my aunt with whom I live. My job did not end at the office, it went home with me and to all the family events we had, which in my case was a lot. I was already tired of my job at work, and I had to hear about it at home too. I had enough. It was time for me to free myself and have days where I would do what I like. which in my case wasn't hard: I just wanted to design. So I quit my job, with no backup plans, with no other alternatives, and with no regrets. It was time for me to find something that would work for me.
I contacted one of my old clients to see if he had nothing going on for me to work on. He told me to come in to his office so we could talk. He pulled some strings and one of his friends who works at a print shop was able to get me a job. I was more than happy. Something in my field that I would enjoy doing. It was little things like designing business cards, small invites and flyers. But it was design and I didn't care and I wanted to do this everyday.
Unfortunately, my time in this design day dream did not last. I was laid off a little over a month after I was hired. They were saying things like downsizing, too expensive to keep me, and overqualified for the position. It crushed me. I was devastated. I wanted to cry myself to sleep and never wake up to not having a design job... I felt like my life was over.
But it wasn't. My freelance projects started paying off. But to me that was not enough. My parents were pressuring me to get a job anywhere and do anything, some friends even suggested that I went back to my uncle's business. All I wanted was a graphic design job.
And I apply and apply to jobs everyday and I wait and wait and wait for a phone call, and I lose patience, and I get myself together again, and I wait and I wait and I wait with a positive attitude, maybe something will come up, or not. And after 3 weeks of that, I am finally ok. I'm not worried because I am working on a backup plan. What if I became more of an IT Technician?
